One of my end goals is to establish my ultimate adventure Airbnb/rental property, paired with my galleries and possibly a guide service. One day I will write up my plans and all that for this goal. But there is a lot to still figure out before I even dive deeper and I know there are other goals/projects I would like to complete first. My hang-up right now, is how much money do I want to dump into my Jeep. Maybe I should allocate it towards gear, like a new lens for my camera. What about just saving it for my down payment or whatever to get that big goal off the ground. Maybe I spend it on new trips that can take me around someplace new in the world.
All I know is I am going crazy right now. I struggle to focus on work and the daily crap I am supposed to be doing. I just feel like I am wasting my life and not contributing on a grander scale. Given I feel like that every time I am getting over an injury, but this time it is different. Sitting at my work station I am looking around, thinking what is all of this for? Is it really worth it? Yes, I love some of the people I work with. They have become family to me over the years, but they even know I’m struggling to be here. They can see I am a caged animal begging to be set free. The wild fire burns deep within me. You just need look into my eyes to see it. It’s there but the day to day is like a constant sprinkler on my fire. Not enough to put me out, but enough to not really allow me to grow either. That is what bugs me the most. I have the ability to work anywhere with WiFi, but I have to keep coming into an office. Yeah I get a day to work remote, but that is no where enough time to get someplace to really push myself. I also struggle with being in the same place day in and day out. I am a traveler that needs a change of scenery every chance I can get. My Minnesota State Park project unleashed the travel bug within me. Being in a new place chargers me up, makes me strive to set the bar higher, inspires me, and really just makes me happy.
I don’t know.
Maybe I am just overthinking everything like always. Maybe I am not seeing something I should be. Or maybe just maybe I am onto something. Something that is going to explode into awesomeness. Something I never really saw coming. Something that gets me on my path to greatness. I guess, I need to get over this injury, step up the training, and find new projects or challenges for the time being.